The (Not So) Secret Question We Should All Be Asking Ourselves

I am a people watcher. I love nothing more than to sit back and watch how people behave, react and interact; it intrigues me.

This is especially true at the gym, I often think to myself ‘why are you here?’ what is driving you?’ ‘what are your goals?’

For example why do people chose to train on their own? Or chose group exercise? Or a personal trainer? Why powerlifting over weightlifting? Or Yoga over Pilates?

What I have come to realise through my own experience is it doesn’t matter what you are doing ... all that matters is why you are doing it. If you truly, intimately understand your ‘why’ you will have consistency, drive and resilience when motivation lacks in either your training or nutrition or both.

Ask yourself the same question; do you really know why you are training? What is driving you and what do you want to get from your training in the short term and long term? The same can be said for your nutrition; if you are following a diet or plan what is it that’s really motivating you?

It is something I always ask new clients and the answers I get are always the same: I want to lose weight / tone up / be fitter / be healthier / move better / get stronger etc. But here’s the thing…. THIS IS NOT YOUR WHY! This is the outcome you want, NOT what is driving you!

Confused? It’s actually very simple; the secret is to just keep asking yourself why. It sounds silly but it really does work. I’ll use myself as an example…

1. Why do I train?

   Because I want to look and feel good.

2. Why do I want to look and feel good?

   Because I want to be the best version of myself I can be, life is too short to be anything else.

3. Why do I want to be the best version of myself?

   Because my business is about inspiring and motivating women to be just that. I want to lead by example.

4. Why is leading by example important to you?

   Because I have been there and done that, I feel like I wasted my 20’s fixated on my body image and let it literally rule my life. I realised too late life is too short. It breaks my heart when I see other women living a life of misery whether it be restricting unnecessary calories or over training or training with no purpose for mistakes and lessons that I have already learnt. I want to tell them it doesn’t need to be that way.

5. But why is it important for me to help these women?

   Because I don’t want it all to be for nothing. I don’t want what I went through or go through to be in vain. I want to lead by example, make mistakes and learn from them so I can pass this onto other females and avoid them making those same errors. I want to make a difference on the world and make it a better place, even if that means just making one women’s life better.

So I train because the desired outcome is to be the best version of me; but the reason I want that is to be an inspiration and help other women avoid my mistakes and make a difference to other women’s lives. That’s what keeps me going on days I don’t want to train or feel like giving up.

It can take time to discover your why so don’t be disheartened if you don’t figure it out over night. Here’s some reasons that might resonate with you to get you started. Do you want…

1. To learn a new skill or try something different.

   Why?

   Will it make you feel more valued? Will it strip you from your label as only a wife/mother/career women etc and show you in a different light to your loved ones?

2. To be healthier and fitter.

   Why?

   Will it mean you can join a fun run with your partner; which will be a bonding experience for you and bring you closer together?

3. To look better.

   Why?

   Will it help you feel more confident? Which will enable you to go for the promotion you want at work? Or more confident to date and lead a life you want?

4. To be part of something not related to your career or social circle.

   Why?

   Do you want to be part of a community that is all striving for the same thing and supportive of one another? Is it something which lacks in other areas of your life?

Whatever the reason they are all justified and valid. But word of warning, expect your why to be slightly confronting when you really dig down!! This is what will generate a change long term, push you into the unknown and challenge your comfort zone.

This is what you will lean on when times are tough, motivation lacks and you don’t want to train, or social pressures are negatively influencing you.

Apply this to any area of your life and watch (excuse the pun) what an eye opener it can be.

And maybe you just can’t figure out your why. In that case I would use it as a wakeup call that thing you are doing is not for you. Life is to short to waste on something we are not wholeheartedly onboard with and passionate about. So take a step back to figure out what your real why is and you will be better off for it in the long term.

Kylie

xoxo