Forming New Habits
In my last blog I talked about being more self aware of your habits and how your routine may be helping or hindering you moving forwards. The next step is to look at ways to replace old self-destructive habits with new self-fulfilling ones
Why Do Habits Fail?
For a habit to form there needs to be a motivation (you should have that already), a trigger (you may be missing that) and a reward (you will definitely be missing that)! Lets break it down. Say you want to start meditating because you heard the positive benefits it can have to your mind and body, that’s great; here is your motivation! But you forget to do it on a daily basis, life gets in the way and it becomes sporadic and rarely if ever do you see the benefits. That’s because you are missing the trigger and the reward.
The Trigger
The easiest way to initiate a new behavior is to have cues followed by consistency. This means you need a trigger to remind yourself to action your new habit. The easiest way to achieve this is to leverage off an already preexisting one. Start by choosing an existing habit you do each day, such as brushing your teeth in the morning, and match the desired new behaviour (such as meditation) to that cue.
The Reward
You need to understand WHY you are forming this new habit, what are the results you are hoping to achieve? Goal setting and understanding your motivation are of paramount importance here.
Think about your new habit, your motivation for doing it and WHY you want to achieve it, then start setting specific and measurable goals to get you there. For example you think; ‘I heard meditation can help calm the mind for sleep. If I start meditating once a day my goal is to fall asleep half an hour earlier than usual. This will make me more productive and focused at work, which I need in order to get that promotion by the end of the year’ Now you really have a reason to focus the mind and meditate, not just doing it because it’s the ‘in’ thing to do.
If the thought of that reward seems out of reach then in addition you can also give yourself a tangible reward such as a massage or new piece of clothing once you achieve your new habit every day for a month. Using both a tangible and intangible goal will help keep your mind on track and keep enforcing the habit.
Repetition
Without continued repetition in the same context it is very unlikely you will form your new habit.
When we learn a new task the prefrontal cortex in our brains is activated. This is the region responsible for planning complex behaviour, decision-making and regulating social behaviour. Unfortunately, this is also the first part of our brain that goes offline when we get stressed out. When this happens we are more likely to fall into our old habits and forget our new ones.
This is where reviewing your goals and self-tracking can help. Specify when and where the new habit will take place and strategize “if…” and “when…” plans. These are tactics that will give you the tools to overcome daily obstacles. For example, “If I don’t have time to meditate in the morning…then I will meditate during my lunch break”
And lastly … be kind to yourself! This isn’t about punishing yourself if one day (gasp!) you forget to do your new habit or slip back into old ones.
Every path worth taking is never an easy one and comes with its ups and downs. Of course there will be times when you miss a day. The key here is to view setbacks with compassion instead of failure. This will encourage you to continue the practice instead of punishing yourself and therefore viewing your new habit in a negative light.
Happy new habits!